Eulogy to my 20’s…

Today I say goodbye to my twenties. The version of me who once needed to know every answer, who looked outward before ever trusting the wisdom within. I release her with love because she did her best with what she knew. She tried to find peace in all the wrong places, not realizing stillness was the very thing that would lead her home.

My twenties taught me that I never have to search outside of myself for the answers. It’s always been within me, waiting patiently for my own attention. When I’m still, I no longer need the validation of others. I find it within my own truth. Within my own reflection.

They taught me that everything happens for a reason, even the things that shattered me or made me question if I’d ever feel whole again. The pain, the loss, the uncertainty, none of it was punishment. It was preparation. Every single obstacle was meant to bless me in some way, to strengthen me, to bring me closer to purpose. And no matter how dark things felt, there was always hope. There was always light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I just needed to remember that I was the light all along.

My twenties showed me that you can’t lose anything worth having with authenticity. When you move from your true self, you attract what was always meant for you. People pleasing may feel safe in the moment, like walking on eggshells just to keep the peace, but really it’s denying yourself the chance to live in your truth. It’s denying others the opportunity to truly see you or to leave, so that the right people can find you.

My twenties gave me two of the greatest blessings of my life, my babies. Their births were not just physical but spiritual. They opened a portal within me, one that awakened something ancient and divine. Through them, I remembered my own softness, my ability to slow down and surrender. They remind me daily that joy doesn’t live in the future. It’s in the now. In the laughter, in the tiny moments, in the stillness of being.

Through them, I’ve learned to release my survival mode. The part of me that needed a plan, that needed control, that felt chaos when things didn’t go accordingly. They’ve shown me the beauty of flow. They’ve become my greatest teachers.

Falling in love with my twin flame was another mirror. It reflected both the light and the shadows within me. Before I thought I knew love, but this connection was a return to myself. It taught me that real love is both an awakening and a mirror that challenges you to evolve. It showed me how to love myself deeply enough to love others truly.

Through it all, I have become the woman who would hold out her hand to her younger self and say, “Speak your truth. Stand in your power. You are safe now.” I’ve grown into the woman who moves with the conviction of all the ancestors who walked before me. My spirituality has deepened in ways I never imagined. My power was never gone, it was simply dormant, waiting for me to claim it. And now, I know what I am capable of. I know that I am protected, that I am destined, and that even if I fall, I am covered.

As I step into my thirties, I am so ready to embody the power I once only remembered. Ready to move with confidence, clarity, and purpose. I no longer waste energy on those who choose to misunderstand me yet never took the time to get to know me. I no longer shrink to make others comfortable. I no longer dim my light to comfort those who’ve forgotten their own, or to protect the parts of others that have lingered in the dark for too long. I forgive my younger self for all the times she doubted her worth, for all the times she settled for less, all the times she sacrificed her voice for the sake of “peace” or lack of “tension”.

My thirties are about embodiment. About resilience that runs deeper than motivation. About remembering my grit and my ability to manifest the life I desire. I was born to lead, not follow. My voice deserves space. My light deserves to be seen. I no longer hide behind humility that silences me. I can be humble and powerful all at once.

I am the table. I am the blessing. I am the storm and the peace that follows it. I am the prayer and the answered call.

My twenties were the initiation. My thirties are the embodiment.

Rest peacefully, my twenties. Thank you for all you gave me, for all you took from me, and for all you revealed within me. 🪷